What women want
Husbands and lovers”
I draw your attention that here and below, under “husbands and lovers” does NOT mean the formal or the actual status of men in relation to a particular woman. We are only talking about the STRATEGY, which follows a man (M) with all their women (W).
Also, it is important that the strategy is not the result of conscious
choice, as follows from psychological type men . First, in relations with women, focus on serious long-term relationship, the second — on flirtation, passion and adventurism. If you have an idea about the introverts and the extroverts, we can say that the strategy of “husband” implement introverts and strategy “lover” — extroverts.
So, all men can be divided into two types — “husbands” and “the lovers”.
The man — “lover”
Classic style «men-lover» is a don Juan or the comical fellow Lieutenant rzhevskii. Bright extrovert-Lovelace, the conqueror of female hearts, and ladies ‘ man. Gambler hunter, which carries the process.
In a relationship with he is committed to take an active position, easily takes the initiative and is able to say directly what he wants . He’s arrogant in a form that attracts and allows them to shift responsibility for the intrigue at the man.
A narcissist, he is looking for in their new Dating opportunities to show off. He is more interested in the fact of the victory over W, and not a relationship with her. Adventurer in good and bad sense. Always ready for adventure, amounting, sometimes, to pure madness. Brutal sexual.
He can easily turn the head of the Train, motivate and inspire her. For him it is natural and just. But along with all of his sex appeal he is not able to create a y and a feeling of peace and certainty.
But women «men-lovers» still like them. And even knowing their flighty nature, they continue to succumb to their charms, and hope to catch them and tame.
The man — “husband”
Typical “husband is home, obedient man. Quiet introvert who chose peace with one woman, instead of with many adventures. In a love triangle, it always turns out to be a victim of infidelity.
In a relationship with he, at times, ridiculously serious. In each he saw a potential wife, but because from the first minute surrounds her obsessive care and is constantly looking for her approval and confirmation of her feelings for him. “Husband” is always trying to be a gentleman and believes the sublime with respect to W as its main advantage. He knows how to care for, and wins Well in your patience and persistence. Instead of passion and intrigue, it offers true love to the grave and the prospect of marriage.
In a relationship «man-husband» gentle, affectionate and romantic. It surrounds the woman comprehensive care and is ready to fulfill all her whim, just to get confirmation of her love. He is ready to obey the desires of W, to the detriment of their own. He is predictable and manageable, and therefore creates a feeling of Well reliability and security.
And when a woman wants to build her nest, she is looking for relations of this type. Loving, caring, homely man — what a woman needs when it comes to starting a family? It is as Well an ideal husband. He needs to love a woman, to take care of her, fulfill her every whim, to regret and to calm her down and, in General, to be in full control.
The duality of needs of women
So, if time to cover the entire list of what women want, you can see their inconsistency. The theme of inconsistency female character deserves all the books that have been written about her. The mystery of a woman’s soul is the eternal question for both halves of humanity. Let’s try to understand what’s happening here.
On the one hand, a woman wants a man who will give her a certain status. A man should be a winner, a leader, a typical “lover”. When a woman is able to attract such M, she receives confirmation of their own significance.
In the relationship with the “lover” there is passion, delight, playfulness, and for a while these feelings enough to believe in mutual love. But the intensity and heat of these emotions means that they burn through as quickly as it arises.
There is the eternal love, which dreams of every J. the Woman with him always feels in danger, because clearly feels that this M will never cease to be a hunter. But next to the “lover” Well better aware of their sex appeal and flatters your feminine pride.
On the other hand, wants a relationship of a different type. In the foreground are spiritual qualities of the elect — ability to empathize, constancy, loyalty, care, predictability, and the like. For such a man is assigned an important duty — to love a woman.
So, having played in the relationship with the “tough guys” Well sooner or later begins to draw attention to another type of men — those who show a willingness to dive into her inner world, understand it, accept and love. When they say that every W wants to love and be loved, it is just about this kind of infant romantic relationship.
The relationship with the “husband” give the woman the opportunity to strengthen his rear, to feel safety and to start to build the nest. Predictability and subordination of men to women desires (“‘ll do Everything for your love.”) create y and a sense of stability and security.
The contradictory nature of women’s “want”
However, what woman wants to see next to a strong man and to be defeated, she wants him to win. By choosing the “cool”, among others, a man and having his attention, the woman soon begins to subdue it.
If M refuses to obey, will feel that its not love and appreciate it, will fail in the sense of self-pity and will look for the man who accepts and loves.
If M obey her behest, feel stronger, and therefore will lose it as a base for his pride. And now she would have to look “tough guy”, who amuse their attention to her feelings.
The woman does not understand his own contradictions and cannot abandon their desires. She would rather accuse his M that he was not sufficiently fond of her to change. But even if M indulges her desires, and it does not suit her. Slave man woman no longer needed, and then begins a new round of accusations — now in weakness. So as long as it doesn’t smash to pieces.
What men want women
A woman wants from the man of the SIMULTANEOUS existence of both behaviours. Normal healthy relationships require acting out both roles.
If the strong man wins, and he will become (or has been so from the beginning) cold and unloving — there is nothing to W attractive. What’s great is when you do not like, and absolutely indifferent to you?
But if weak in M will win feelings and it is entirely as a home dog, and become accountable and submissive, ready to fulfill any whim — what’s interesting about this?
But when these two opposites are equal in power — a man interesting! Your task is to show in their words and deeds both of these components. And strong feelings and strong character. A woman needs to see you as a strong, self-sufficient man, and the fact that you are able to be the rear, which she is looking for.
In relations should overlap the entire range of women «». No need to avoid extremes and seek a conditional mid. You need to strive to meet the totality of needs.
No need to avoid feelings Well, fearing that the woman will regard you as «husband». You must be hard and soft at the same time. And, if her behavior towards you that you like. do not be shy to show how you admire her, love, accept it. You can give flowers, etc. to Be affectionate and romantic. Sing serenades under the window. And show all the other qualities that are inherent to “the husband”.
However, the man must overcome his own snotty and become tough enough to withstand the pressure of women’s power over M. Give’s the “flick on the nose” for each such pretensions and to preserve their right to SENIORITY in the relationship.
If you do it right, and if you’re not a BITCH. and initially she had no aim of you to use, it’s usually 2 or 3 times is enough to discourage further desire to try to subdue. Further relationships receive immunity from such claims. But still, occasionally relapses can occur. Therefore, you should always be ready for it.
Also, we must understand that in accordance with the female psyche, which we discussed above, this behavior W (a wish at some stage to subordinate M) is the norm for the vast majority of women. Therefore, in addition to be prepared for such phenomena, we must accept this as a natural phenomenon, and be able to forgive those «quirks» if they do not occur too frequently and not affect the comfort in the relationship.
In fact, you need to these moments in a relationship to be both technical and solve them on 3d MODELS .