Want to know a man better
Hello dear blog readers Improverment!
“I want to meet a man , I see him sometimes at work and I know he’s not married. He looks at me pointedly, as if trying to say something, but hesitates. I feel I really like him. I keep expecting him to show initiative. But this is not happening for a long time. How to keep a man in these situations? To do the first step?” — Elena writes.
“I want to meet a man closer, I like it very much, and it seems, also interested in me. We sometimes see each other in a circle of mutual friends. Can’t understand the intentions of men. Every time we meet by chance, he seems glad to see me. He flirts, smiles, remembers all our conversations and shows that drew attention to my every word . But on the other hand , it asks my phone does not invite for a Cup of coffee. How to communicate with the man. so he took the initiative and make the first step?” — writes Tatiana.
I quoted passages of only two letters, but actually these questions are very often. Women lead story, something like one another.
Surrounded by women there is a man who pays attention to her, tells her compliments and with each new conversation, she begins to seem that he wants to ask her out. The woman is waiting for his initiatives, but he for some reason decided not to take the first step. For example, offer coffee, ask for the phone number to move from random encounters with flirting, hints and adoring looks, to real dates. He acts interested, but then moves away, she doesn’t understand, what does a man really is. It embarrasses her and makes you think about it even more. Why a man flirts and shows your interest, but never asks for phone number, no calls, no invites out?
Why is the man making the first move himself
1) he already has someone else. Him enjoy your company, and he thinks you are a wonderful woman. But the man just doesn’t want to get close now.
2) Maybe his interest is not beyond physical attraction, but his emotions don’t hurt so much that he has made efforts to know you better.
3) Man gets your “confusing signals”. At one point it seems that you have met him through mutual interest. Another time — that you are indifferent and may reject it if he takes the initiative.
4) Maybe he has his personal not related to the reasons you will not attempt to convergence.
A man may fear failure more than a woman. In order for a man to overcome shyness or fear of failure, he needs to feel confidence in the fact that if he asked you to meet, you get a positive answer. If you constantly meet with acquaintances, near you many people, it may not be able to understand how you to it is located. You think you’re flirting back, and clearly show your feelings, but your partner may see things differently.
To create their own destiny or to go with the flow?
When we are alone, we may feel insecure, doubt yourself. We can influence attitudes and beliefs about the guts and initiative. We think it’s better — to be active itself or wait for activity from men. We are afraid to make a mistake and lose the opportunity to start with a vending man.
Answer the questions:
You usually take the initiative to get what you want or go with the flow with those people and those circumstances that you face in your life?
Are you ready to make a choice, to take the initiative or would rather sit in the comfort zone, limiting their options to only what is in front of you?
To choose means to take the initiative to take responsibility for the result, to create what you want in your life and not wait for it by itself.
Some people have formed with the settings to please others, try to be a nice person, to avoid the risks. They do not feel strong enough to affect the result and allow others to decide for themselves. There are women who expect the man of their choosing, to take the initiative and never try to take the initiative themselves.
Make the first step a woman
If you like a man, and you suspect that he likes me too, is it possible to make the first step?
Each case is unique. Some women have no problem doing the first step that brings them positive results, because it justified their unique circumstances. Others want the first step was made by the man or not entirely sure that the man is interested, free, afraid to fall into an awkward position.
There is an opinion that the man should make the first move. But the question is that we believe “the first step men”? Many women wish to exaggerate the importance of any initiative. In my opinion, the looks, the smiles, the flirting, the initiative to communicate is not a “first step”, and testing of potential men. Initiating contact, you check the ability of men to communicate, his reactions, his quality, and not offer him a relationship and do not offer. You choose, and the steps makes the man. Your task is to give him an excuse and create a relaxed atmosphere.
Many psychological studies show that we unconsciously share the “courtship signals” with the opposite sex. Most often the man makes the first step to the woman who sends him certain signals – smiles, glances, straightens hair, rolls his shoulders.
You can show a man what you want from him, not inviting him straight out and not visas around his neck. In any situation there is always the master and slave. When you are in a situation, you show the man where you want to go, then you relax, let go of the situation and create space for him.
If you want to meet a man that will keep you from throwing a flirtatious glance, smile, start a conversation, make a joke? If the man has potential, he will make a move in your direction is the first step.
How to initiate contact with a man: a rough plan of action
If you have no experience, how to establish contacts with people, you can focus on the action plan.
1 action: aim to make a positive impression
When meeting with a man smile, look him in the eye, start a conversation, say something positive or make a compliment to a man. thus showing that you are friendly. Your goal — to make a positive impression. The conversation should be short.
Activity 2: objective: to verify that you have the General and his response
At the second meeting with the man, try to determine whether you have something in common. Start a conversation and add some details about yourself. For example, you can say that today I go to practice and ask if he loves the sport.
Check, whether your interest is, after you have learned more about the person. Always leave a positive impression about yourself. Look at his reaction: positive, negative, neutral. If the reaction is negative or neutral leave attempt.
3 action: the purpose is to show what you want
At the next meeting follow step 1 and 2 and add that you are always happy to communicate with him. Then give it space for further initiatives and release the situation.
Very often, when a man is interested and has the potential to relations, he will offer to meet or ask for a phone number. If not, just accept the fact that there is no potential for development.
The advantage of this approach, compared to a gross initiative “in a forehead”, that both parties have the free space to “retreat”. The man feels that he imposed and can be safely, without losing a sense of freedom to perceive your signals. The woman feels rejected, if the man didn’t react, because just “tested” its quality, invited to communicate, and did not offer himself.
To establish contacts with people, who you are — it means to be a blacksmith of his own happiness. It characterizes you as a pleasant, friendly and confident woman. Initiative women is femininity, attractiveness, flirting, friendliness, humor, intelligence, ability to communicate – these will certainly resonate with suitable men, and he will gladly make the “first step” towards you.
Good luck and see you soon on the pages of Improverment !
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