The child does not want to dress
Vacation with children
Quite often parents of young children meet with such a problem, as the reluctance of the child to get dressed. Many kids absolutely do not want to wear sweaters, jackets and hats. The screams, the tears, the escape attempt, tantrums – a fairly common pattern, occurring in many families at the time of collection to the street. It seems that your child, being at other times it is calm and obedient, at this time, turns into some kind of monster, which is evil and only out of spite, does not want to dress to make you late to visit or to work. It seems that he deliberately wants to annoy you and ruin your mood.
But we are adults and should understand that this is complete nonsense and that everything has an explanation! So what’s really going on? Why children at this age do not like this process? As relates to this and what to do if the child does not want to dress?
Possible reasons why the child does not want to dress up:
If the child is a year or 2.
Understandable explanations for such behavior is very young and not yet independent children under the age of 1 – 2 years could be the fact that the clothes he’s just in the way. It’s embarrassing and not comfortable. He experiences a sense of tightness, closeness and strangeness of his own body. In the end, the process of clothing – the procedure is not pleasant. Especially when parents awkwardly and, often, in a hurry trying to get his hands and feet in a narrow and constraining any movement clothes. In addition, the process of dressing distracts from any interesting activities and implies that you need some time to stand still, not moving, automatically performing Mama’s team. But if, hand on heart, to remember how often parents with raise their voice, begin to worry to rush the children to shout and, God forbid, to lay hands on him and force him? To explain the 2-year old child that it’s cold outside, and he can freeze – the prospect is not the best. To punish and threaten, like, beg and beg, too, is not the solution. What to do if the child does not want to dress?
You first need to remember that under no circumstances temper! You should always be calm and in control. Besides, you should be confident in their actions and in the right. What if you, up to your son or daughter with clothes, will think that now he will run and throw a fit and cry? Of course it will! You consciously programmed events. Therefore, in peace and confidence, while the child is doing his thing: playing or watching a cartoon, collect things for him, gird yourself, and only then, quietly, not drawing attention, begin to wear it. If the child is not busy, take him with you – tell a story or read a poem. Play of the game – rhymes. vast number can be found on the Internet, or sing a song. Anything and anything distract him.
If your child wants to dress up, if possible, avoid blouses with narrow neck and tight sleeves and turtlenecks. Hat to wear at the last moment. In General, everything connected with the head, in young children causes a storm of protest and outrage. At the time of dressing over the head – play the game – hide-and-seek type “Ku-ku”. Use your imagination, think of something interesting, play with the baby. Even if not everything goes right, bear with me. No matter what, stay calm and friendly. After 10 minutes of patience is all better 2 hour tantrums.
If the child is older than 2 years.
The simplest explanation for the reluctance of the older child to dress, may be the fact that he simply does not know how to do this. Sometimes parents are easier to dress your baby for yourself. But then happens the time, often suddenly, when mom or dad begins to talk about the development of independence among their children and begin to demand from him a quick self-dressing. Hit the little man is a strict, it can provoke feelings of anxiety, uncertainty and excitement. In this situation the kid completely loses any ability to do anything, he’s depressed, scared, confused and does not understand how and what to wear.
Understandable and such reasons as: unwillingness to go to kindergarten, clinic, or someone to visit. Or, on the contrary, he wants it too, and the process of dressing only delaying the long-awaited moment. But what if some obvious and understandable reasons no, but the child does not like to dress?
It turns out that in most such cases the root of the problem unlove dress is much deeper than we think. Child psychologists in one voice say that if the child does not want to dress up – the reason for this may be the crisis. Namely, “the crisis of autonomy”, which takes place in different ways, but absolutely affects all children. Here we are talking about the pre-school children who can dress themselves, who understand what they are saying and are aware of what you are doing. Stubbornness, and sometimes, and aggression in these children may occur as a process of building relations with the outside world and other people. The child wants to feel their independence and right of choice. And it’s completely natural and normal. Parents in this case play the role of a stimulus, which not only does not allow this, but it makes, forcing to do something against their will. Occurs the so-called power struggle. Disobedience and reluctance to dress in such a case, expresses the attempt to defend their own positions. If it fails, if the screams and couldn’t help but adult defends his innocence irritation and force, the child begins to cry. The recurrence of similar confrontations between the child and the adults to anything good does not. This behavior causes a disruption of the mental state of a little man. Gradually he develops fears, aggression and even depression.
What to do?
In a situation where the child is not deliberately dressed, adults need to stop, to distance themselves from what is happening and, as if from the outside, to see, to assess the situation and calmly begin to act, without succumbing to any children’s provocations, nor own panic.
Children are human beings, just like adults, they also have their own passions, desires and preferences that need to be considered, and, if necessary, gently and quietly to correct them. It is therefore necessary to provide them the right choice and right action. For example, you can offer a pre selected items for dressing up, let the kid decide what he would wear. You can ask to bring a jacket or allow yourself to wear a hat, to ask which foot first, put on your shoes or give the right to choose between gloves and mittens. Such details will allow the child to feel their importance.
The child is difficult to switch from one case to another. So before you start to dress, warn him in advance. Tell me that after 10 minutes you need to go outside. Thus it is necessary to show your child to watch and explain how they work, because children have no concept of time. You can defiantly start to collect things that the child saw it and mentally ready to dressing. Even better to prepare in advance of his stuff. And in choosing things he should involve himself.
Every child wants to dress up because it’s not interesting and rather boring. Make it unpleasant for him the lesson fun and exciting. Games, nursery rhymes, nursery rhymes. fairy tales, stories – these things always have a great help in all situations.
All children want to be with someone similar: cartoon whether it’s a character or a neighbor, the fireman is not important, as long as the child understood that he quickly got dressed as his hero. However, in any case, in this situation, not someone to compare with a negative point of view. It should be no worse than someone better or almost the same. Always remember positive feedback. Positive emotional component is what needs to be in a relationship with children not only in the time of dressing, but always. Any thing he should do is not under duress, and with pleasure, with desire and with joy.
If the child does not want to dress, always remember that the process of clothing is only a special case of the little child. If you have these 5 minute screaming during the dressing – a little thing that can be tolerated, forcibly break the will of the child, then it is a whole life. Your and his behavior at this time, the child, without thinking, projecting all their lives and relationships with others. These 5 minutes can become his norm of conduct in all situations. Therefore, in no case should force be used, scream, put ultimatums or threaten the child. You must act patiently and with love. And also, you must always remember that you are not some strange and scary monster, and your native and long-awaited child, the best and most good!
